Wednesday 1 March 2006

Keeping Your Marriage And Its Blanket Of Love

by Rene Graeber

There is no secret to a perfect marriage. If marriage could give you a glimpse of heaven, it could give you as much of hell. There is even a famous saying where the perfect marriage can only be found between a deaf and a blind couple, because the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of his wife, while the blind wife cannot see the shortcomings of her husband.

Of course, there are also those couples who are lucky enough to be soul mates. Being truly and deeply in love with each other is more than what most people could ask for in a relationship. But even love is not enough to sustain a relationship. There are other factors that come into play.
Why then do people get married? Is it to have a family? Is it to have someone to grow old with? Is it for wealth and security? All of these count, but there's a bigger reason. Marriage is when you give so much of yourself and yet, you feel whole.

Something as special as marriage should be nurtured forever. So what do couples need to keep it? Trust, love, respect, compassion, and patience are all important. But even the best marriages can run into trouble. This is because couples tend to take the simplest things for granted. Would you like to know some of these things? Then read on.

Proven tips for a happy marriage:

Point 1: Be independent.
Just because you marry, it doesn't mean you must embrace everything about your partner. Sometimes, you forget about how different you two are because you've been together for so long. Don't lose your uniqueness because it's the same thing that attracted both you and your partner in the first place. Try to take on different interests and encourage your partner to do so too.

Point 2: Never be angry at the same time.
When you're angry, you hear nothing else and you don't care about anything else. If you find that both you and your partner are angry, try to have some space. Calm down. Then talk. Be sensitive to each other's ups and downs. Talk through the problem and hear each other out. Abandon the whole world rather than each other. And never go to sleep without settling the argument. Most importantly, never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.

Point 3: If you have to disagree, do it lovingly.
There will be lots of times when you and your spouse won't agree at all in some aspects. Don't make your point sound like a criticism to your partner. It doesn't matter who is wrong or right. Always bear in mind that an argument doesn't need a winner or a loser.

Point 4: Never bring up mistakes of the past.
Whenever something goes wrong, do not rub past issues in. Don't dwell over the past such that you become blind with the wonderful things ahead of your relationship.

Point 5: At least once every day, try to say one thoughtful or complimentary thing to your partner.
When a couple always spends time with each other, they often forget about courtesy. "Take the trash out. Do the laundry." Isn't there something missing in those phrases? Perhaps putting "Please" before each sentence would make it sound so much better. Never take each other for granted.

Showing constantly that you both like each other will help keep your relationship fresh. Even something as simple as complementing on your spouse's looks or buying little unexpected gifts can help. Look for the things that would make your partner feel appreciated.

How do you live by the guidelines stated earlier? Lower your pride. But don't get me wrong. Pride is a good thing. It keeps your head high in public. It's not a bad thing to have pride in someone or something. But in private, when you're with your partner, keep the pride level down; because it becomes a wall your partner would have to overcome.

About the Author
How to Easily Transform a Miserable, Lifeless Marriage Relationship into One Filled With Love, Happiness, and Excitement - Just Visit:

You Can Be Romantic

by Christos Varsamis

Why is it that so many people believe that they don't have time or take the initiative to be romantic? Maybe most people don't believe that they are creative enough to be romantic. Everyone is creative! The definition of being creative is having the ability or power to create. The word create offers a much broader definition than most people accept when it comes to the process of being able to come up with something original or simply well thought out.

Gifts that are considered to be traditionally romantic like candy and flowers are wonderful, but sometimes you need something that goes one step further. If your spouse enjoys flowers, you don't have to settle for roses because they can sometimes become unexciting after a while! Present him or her with something completely original such as a daisy or another flower where petals can be counted. Ask him or her to play the childhood game of 'they love me, they love me not' and watch them pluck the petals as they go. However, don't allow for the possibility of him or her arriving at the 'they love me not'. Count the petals before you present the flower to your spouse and trim it so that there is an odd number of petals for the right outcome!

Arts and crafts used to be a fun break from the monotony of the school day, but believe it or not, it will come in handy when it comes to creative romantic gestures. Instead of promising that you will love him or her forever, show them. Take a piece of paper, ribbon or other material you choose and write "I love you" on both sides from end to end. Twist the paper 180 degrees and connect both ends of the paper until you have mad what looks like the figure eight. Tape or glue to ends together. You can present your love with a symbol that shows them your love for them is an endless love.

Creativity comes in many different forms! Being creative can mean creating an atmosphere. If you want to plan the ultimate romantic evening but funds are low or you simply don't want to have to leave the house, shut down the electricity and imitate a power outage (it's up to you whether or not you tell him or her!). You won't have any distractions or heat, so it is up to both of you to keep the other warm and entertain each other.

Maybe romance is on your mind, but he or she is going out of town. Did you know that people on airplanes are typically hopeless romantics? Any flight attendant would be more than happy to make sure that your spouse receives a special present after the flight has left the ground. Simply approach a crewmember after he or she boards the plane and they are usually more than happy to oblige a hopeless romantic like you! (You might want to make sure that the gift is unwrapped or keep it to a single rose due to heightened security.)

Creativity doesn't have to come in the form of gifts every single time. Gestures like getting up and dancing with your spouse when a special song comes on the radio is quite creative and incredibly romantic! Whenever the mood strikes you, allow your creative juices to flow!

About the Author
Christos Varsamis is a Marketing Consultant at