by Rene Graeber
There is no secret to a perfect marriage. If marriage could give you a glimpse of heaven, it could give you as much of hell. There is even a famous saying where the perfect marriage can only be found between a deaf and a blind couple, because the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of his wife, while the blind wife cannot see the shortcomings of her husband.
Of course, there are also those couples who are lucky enough to be soul mates. Being truly and deeply in love with each other is more than what most people could ask for in a relationship. But even love is not enough to sustain a relationship. There are other factors that come into play.
Why then do people get married? Is it to have a family? Is it to have someone to grow old with? Is it for wealth and security? All of these count, but there's a bigger reason. Marriage is when you give so much of yourself and yet, you feel whole.
Something as special as marriage should be nurtured forever. So what do couples need to keep it? Trust, love, respect, compassion, and patience are all important. But even the best marriages can run into trouble. This is because couples tend to take the simplest things for granted. Would you like to know some of these things? Then read on.
Proven tips for a happy marriage:
Point 1: Be independent.
Just because you marry, it doesn't mean you must embrace everything about your partner. Sometimes, you forget about how different you two are because you've been together for so long. Don't lose your uniqueness because it's the same thing that attracted both you and your partner in the first place. Try to take on different interests and encourage your partner to do so too.
Point 2: Never be angry at the same time.
When you're angry, you hear nothing else and you don't care about anything else. If you find that both you and your partner are angry, try to have some space. Calm down. Then talk. Be sensitive to each other's ups and downs. Talk through the problem and hear each other out. Abandon the whole world rather than each other. And never go to sleep without settling the argument. Most importantly, never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
Point 3: If you have to disagree, do it lovingly.
There will be lots of times when you and your spouse won't agree at all in some aspects. Don't make your point sound like a criticism to your partner. It doesn't matter who is wrong or right. Always bear in mind that an argument doesn't need a winner or a loser.
Point 4: Never bring up mistakes of the past.
Whenever something goes wrong, do not rub past issues in. Don't dwell over the past such that you become blind with the wonderful things ahead of your relationship.
Point 5: At least once every day, try to say one thoughtful or complimentary thing to your partner.
When a couple always spends time with each other, they often forget about courtesy. "Take the trash out. Do the laundry." Isn't there something missing in those phrases? Perhaps putting "Please" before each sentence would make it sound so much better. Never take each other for granted.
Showing constantly that you both like each other will help keep your relationship fresh. Even something as simple as complementing on your spouse's looks or buying little unexpected gifts can help. Look for the things that would make your partner feel appreciated.
How do you live by the guidelines stated earlier? Lower your pride. But don't get me wrong. Pride is a good thing. It keeps your head high in public. It's not a bad thing to have pride in someone or something. But in private, when you're with your partner, keep the pride level down; because it becomes a wall your partner would have to overcome.
About the Author
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